Have you ever failed a test? A spiritual test? If the answer is yes to either question, then you know personally how defeated and devastated I was this day.
Now, usually in my writing process, I take an entry from my journal and write a fancy blog post around it. But, not this time; for this post I’m going to take the page straight from my journal and type it up with little to no changes. Hope you enjoy it, friend.
I failed a test today. After I got home and cried about it. I called my Teacher and asked Him where I went wrong. He kindly told me.
The scripture He gave me this morning was Joshua 1. He pretty much told me this was my study guide and the answers I needed lied within. So I read it multiple times memorizing the answers to all the hard questions...or so I thought.
Now, if I can be honest, I was afraid of this test, one of the biggest thus far.
There was this particular part of the test that scared me the most. So every time fear crept in, “Be strong and courageous” ,“Be strong and courageous," is all I told myself. However, that’s where I messed up.
My Teacher is intentional; He means what he says and says what he means. If I was only supposed to study that one sentence, then that one sentence would have been all He gave.
But it wasn’t. He gave me 18 to be exact (Joshua 1:1-9). Nevertheless, I was only focusing on one.
I let fear cloud my vision and in the end, I missed the answer to an important question, which led me to fail the test.
I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t upset, but it's nobody's fault but my own.
Next time, when fear tries to fog my vision, I’ll ask my Teacher if I can borrow his reading glasses.
Note: I encourage you to read Joshua 1. Also, this journal entry is full of analogies and symbolism. Here’s a key to help you out a little. ;)
- God = Teacher
- Test = Spiritual test/ Mission
- His reading glasses = Seeing things through the eyes of God
- “Fear fog my vision” - For we walk by faith, not by sight-2 Corithians 5:7 ESV (I was doing the opposite)
- “Memorizing the answers to all the hard questions”- Meditating on the parts of scripture I thought was most important
Photo courtesy of: Kai Bell