Motherhood

As some of you may know, the Lord recently blessed my husband and I with our first born. A beautiful baby boy. Yup! That's right! I can officially add cute cool boy mom to my resume! Ayyyy! I'm so excited! 

No, really I 👏🏾  AM👏🏾  EXCITED!

We've prayed for this for a long time and finally being able to see the fruits of that labor does something to ya girl's faith. 

Queue Social Szn by Social Club Misfits. I'm about to level up! Lol! 

I'll give you a few adjectives on how motherhood has been for me so far: challenging, exciting, fulfilling, overwhelming, and boring (<--- insert sarcastic tone for the last one).

It's definitely been an adjustment period, but I have to admit I'm enjoying it. The ups and the downs. I'm learning so much about God and myself. It's a beautiful thing. 

I still can’t fathom how blessed I am. 

The amount of favor and responsibility that's been given to me through motherhood blows my mind 😳. I write this now with overwhelming gratitude and on the verge of tears. I can’t believe He chose me to mother one of His children. 

Me, Monet. The girl with all the brokenness and the childhood trauma. The one in therapy trying to heal and figure out who she really is. He chose me and I still can't believe it!

I did nothing to deserve this, but oh how faithful is our God?

He heard our cries and he answered them. 

I can’t stop bragging on Him. 

I won't stop bragging on Him. 

Motherhood thus far has taught me how much we desperately need our Savior, Jesus Christ. Before we had our son I remember reading a blog that referenced 1 Timothy 2:15. 

But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.

I often thought that verse meant literally, but in the blog the author spoke about how it signifies much more. She pointed out the sacrifice and dying to oneself that childbearing brings out of us. 

Boy, was she not lying!  

My first day home from the hospital was rough. I felt out of body and out of place. I didn't know what to expect and I was scared. I remember going into the bathroom, turning on Jireh (Elevation Worship and Maverick City Music), getting into the shower and crying…hard. 

And as I cried, all I could think about was that verse. 

Childbearing had done something to me (other than stretch marks and weight gain😂) 

It had positioned my heart under God and humbled me in a way I hadn't imagined. 

It was a beautiful thing! It was like I could literally feel myself changing. 

I was stepping into a role that was foreign to me and being sanctified all at the same time. 

Matthew 18:3 NIV says, 

And he said: “Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven.

That’s exactly how I felt, like a little child. Like a baby crying out for its mother, or shall I say a 26 year old girl crying out for her Father. Either way I needed Him. I need Him. And that day,  that became crystal clear.  

I end my journal entry with this. I now understand what Paul meant in 1 Timothy 2:15 and I couldn't agree more. I also believe children are a blessing from God (Psalm 127:3) so I intend on loving, nurturing, and cherishing my son as such. I understand motherhood is a journey and a ministry and by God's grace I pray we all do it with love, intention, grace and prayer. May we give our babies back to Him and allow him to make them into the men and women He created them to be. 

With love, 

-Mo