When I was 15 years old, I was in an abusive relationship. My young adolescent mind couldn’t fathom how I ended up in such a relationship. I want to inform the young girl that’s confused right now that the mean things that guy is saying is not love. The mental and physical pain that guy is putting you through is not love. As daughters of the One True King, we must compare every guy’s love to God’s. Let’s be clear I understand that no one will ever love us like our Father; however, whether teenage or adult we should require every guy to respect us and love us in a way that mirrors the definition that was given to us in scripture.
Now, before I talk about my story, I want you to know that abuse comes in many shapes and sizes, and it's not always physical. Sometimes it’s verbal, mental, or even emotional. All of which are terrible and all of which I experienced.
I often heard that it was never ok for a boy to put his hands on a girl, but what they don’t tell you is that it doesn’t always start that way.
In my experience, my mind was taken out first. It started with kind words of affirmation and attention then over time turned into name-calling and character assassination. When I would get offended he would tell me he was just “playing” or apologize for the offense then do it again days later. Physical abuse came soon after.
If you’re anything like how I was back then, then I know what you’re probably thinking. What if I fight back? Is it still considered abuse? The answer is yes!
I know the world tells us love hurts, but it's not supposed to. Violence, whether physical or mental was never used to describe love God’s way.
You are a daughter of the King, and you must remember that!
Every bad thing that guy says or does to you is a lie from satan’s mouth, and it’s an attack to break you down.
Remember whose image you were made in. (Genesis 1:27 NLT-So God created human beings in his own image. In the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.)
If you're reading this and it all sounds familiar to you, then I advise you to cut it off, but don’t try to do it on your own strength do it through Christ, who gives you strength. (Philippians 4:13 NLT- For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.)
I went through a lot of bad relationships and wasted a lot of time before I met my husband.
If only I had guarded my heart and waited for the Lord sooner, then I would have saved myself years of trouble.
I used to be ashamed about this part of my life and now the Lord uses it to bring glory to His name.
What the enemy meant for evil, God meant for good.
The Lord will use every part of your story to bring Himself glory! Don’t underestimate him!
The enemy intended to ruin my life with that relationship.
However, Jesus gave me a loving, God-fearing husband, courage, and a platform to share my story with girls who might have or may be going through similar experiences.
If you are that person I want to remind you that Jesus loves you and if you need someone to talk to I'm here for you.
Photos courtesy of: Kai Bell