By reading the title, some of you are already assuming this blog is about to be a crazy, off-the-wall man bash. Well, it's not. I’m actually here to be transparent and talk about some humbling realizations of mine.
I recently had to ask myself the question, “Why do you pray for your husband?” And to be honest the answer wasn’t what I expected. The truth came rushing in and it hit me like a ton of bricks. It was like the Lord pointed a flashlight at my heart and all of a sudden I could see.
I was praying for my husband out of love for self. Not out of my love for God. I was being selfish. I was selfish. Now, it makes sense why it felt like my prayers were hitting the ceiling.
When Jesus was here with his disciples, he told them that when we obey his commandments, we remain in His love. He later followed that statement by saying his commandment was for us to love each other in the same way He loved us.
When my husband would do something, I didn’t like such as respond to a spiritual test poorly I would hit my knees and pray hard for him. If he lost his patience and respond without love, I would hit my knees and pray hard for him.
However, on some good days (more times than I’m willing to admit) I would forget to hit my knees and pray hard for him.
Do you get the issue with that?
We are commanded by our Savior to love each other. Period.
That means every second of every day through every season, we are to display Christ’s love.
God’s love is not self-seeking and shamefully that's exactly what I was doing. I was praying for God to transform my husband, so he could be a better spouse to me. Not so he could be a better servant to God (that was the problem) .
Praying for him for me and not for my love and reverence for God.
The day the Holy Spirit revealed this to me; I was in shock (as always! Lol!). I used to pride myself on how “good” I prayed for my husband. I thought I had everything under control, and I prayed for him for all the right reasons.
Crazy how sin not only blinds our sight but makes a complete fool out of us.
Fortunately, our God is faithful and just. If you’ve been through this or just reading for fun. I speak from experience, friend.
In addition to God’s forgiveness, He will equip you with the power you need to love and pray the way you should and for the reasons that please Him.
Photos courtesy of: Kai Bell